Splitsville (2025) – A Disturbing "Comedy" on Open Marriage Nonsense (Movie Watch Diary 25)
Hello, movie lovers! Welcome to my twenty-fifth Movie Watch Diary on Bookimov: Books & Movies! After the punchy thrills of Nobody 2, I'm diving into something far more uncomfortable: Splitsville (2025), directed by Michael Angelo Covino and starring Dakota Johnson in a role that left me unsettled. This dark comedy (or is it a tragedy?) explores open relationships with a mix of farce and heartbreak, but it mostly just disturbed me. It's the weirdest film I've seen this year, earning a measly 3/10 from me—my lowest rating yet. Let's unpack the chaos, and as always, I need your movie picks for my next diary!
Splitsville (2025) - Farce or Fiasco? A Mind-Bending Mess
Splitsville bills itself as a romance/comedy, but to me, it's a dark drama masquerading as laughs—think toxic relationships wrapped in awkward humor that rarely lands. The film skewers open marriages as total bullshit, showing how they shatter hearts under the guise of "freedom," and that's its one strength. Yet, the writer-director expects us to chuckle at the suffering, which feels tone-deaf and disturbing. There are a few nailed comedic beats, like a hilariously inept fight scene, but overall, I pitied every character. The lovely music is a highlight, providing ironic sweetness amid the pain. If open relationships don't faze you, you might enjoy the absurdity; otherwise, steer clear—it's not fun, it's tragic.
The Plot: Love Songs to Heartbreak Highway
The story kicks off with a swoony love duet as Carey (Kyle Marvin) and his wife Ashley (Adria Arjona) drive to a beach house, singing their hearts out. He's gushing about starting a family, but en route, Ashley drops the bomb: she's been cheating and wants a divorce to pursue multiple lovers freely. Heartbroken Carey begs for forgiveness, leading to this gut-punch exchange: "But I love you so much." "Yeah. I know. And I love you so much." Weird, right? If love's real, why cheat and split?
Seeking solace, Carey crashes with his best friend Paul (Michael Angelo Covino) and wife Julie (Dakota Johnson), who reveal their "secret to happiness": an open marriage where both can sleep around guilt-free. But cracks show immediately—Julie's quietly devastated when Paul prioritizes hookups over her. Things escalate when Carey confesses sleeping with Julie, sparking a ridiculous brawl (knives drawn, then sheepishly dropped; a fish tank smashed, followed by frantic cleanup). Carey tries the open life too, enduring Ashley's parade of boyfriends in their shared home, becoming a shell of himself. The film spirals into jealousy-fueled chaos—a carnival flirtation gone wrong, aggressive outbursts, and raw confessions—exposing how "making the bad thing OK" just amplifies the hurt. It all builds to a messy confrontation questioning if "no guilt" equals real connection, or just more suffering.
Performances That Hit Home (Too Hard)
Adria Arjona shines as Ashley, capturing the selfish thrill of her liberation with a chilling nonchalance that made me cringe. Dakota Johnson's Julie is heartbreaking—her poised facade crumbles in quiet moments, like this iconic dialogue with Carey: "When Paul goes to the city for work, he's fucking someone. And it's OK, 'cause we said it was OK. But right now, he's choosing that over being here." Carey: "Why don't you tell him to stop?" Julie: "Do you know why people break up?" Carey: "Yeah, cheating." Julie: "Guilt. But if you make the bad thing OK, then there's no guilt." Carey: "Or... maybe just stop doing the bad thing." Julie: "Yeah. Or that." It's a mic-drop on the open marriage myth. Covino and Marvin play the guys with bro-ish vulnerability, their fight scene a comedic gem amid the gloom. Strong turns, but they couldn't save me from pitying them all.
A "Comedy" That Normalizes the Wrong Things
Splitsville follows Covino's 2020 indie The Climb, dialing up the relationship farce with modern twists like open dynamics. But where critics see "wild, energized" laughs, I see a sick fantasy trying to laugh off heartbreak. The poster calls it "the funniest movie of the year," yet everyone's shattered—why laugh? Worse, an early scene has Carey and Julie fooling around sexually while driving, causing a crash where another couple's wife flies out the window and dies. Funny? No, horrifying. By turning open marriage "nonsense" into punchlines, it risks normalizing postmodern toxicity, as if suffering's just quirky. No thanks—bad things shouldn't be made "OK" for a cheap giggle.
Ratings and Critical Reception
Splitsville boasts an 85% on Rotten Tomatoes (from 97 reviews), with critics praising it as "a classic farce with very modern relationship dynamics" that "spreads the comedic wealth." Metacritic sits at 74/100, calling it "generally favorable." On IMDb, it's a 6.9/10. High scores make sense: fans of sharp, uncomfortable humor (think The Climb or Succession) love the tight pacing, ensemble chemistry, and satirical bite on relationship insecurities. But my 3/10 is my lowest this year because it disturbed me deeply—the "laughs" felt forced over genuine tragedy, and the open marriage critique, while spot-on, gets undercut by the film's insistence on comedy. If it leaned into drama, it'd hit harder; instead, it's a tonal whiplash that left me unsettled, not entertained.
A Minor Critique
The music's gorgeous—those duets add ironic romance—but the humor often misfires, like that deadly crash gag. Pacing drags in the jealousy montages, and the ending ties up too neatly, dodging real consequences.
A Weird Warning, Not a Recommendation
Splitsville (2025) mind-blowingly exposes open relationships as heartbreaking BS, with killer dialogue and a few laughs, but its "comedy" cloak over the pain disturbed me. Johnson and Arjona elevate it, yet I pitied everyone—no fun, just tragedy. At 3/10, it's my year's low; skip unless you're unbothered by the topic. It sparked thoughts on why we "normalize" hurt for modern life's sake—worth debating, not watching.
What did you think of Splitsville? Did the open marriage satire land for you, or was it as off-putting? Drop your thoughts in the comments, and here's the big one: suggest a movie for my next Movie Watch Diary! I'm craving uplifting vibes or solid thrillers after this, so hit me with your picks. If you enjoyed this post, please like, follow, and share so you don’t miss the next spin. Thanks for joining me—see you in the next one!
